Terms of Endearment
by fairytalehearts
Summary: Parker and Hardison aren't exactly a traditional couple...
1. Baby

Disclaimer: I do not own Leverage and make no profit from this work of fiction.  
>AN: I've always wanted to write Leverage fic and I hope y'all like this one.<p>

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><p>Parker is a tornado wrapped inside of a volcano.<p>

She's the puzzle he can't figure out, and he's sure he'll get burned but something about them not being together just seems plain damn wrong. They're on a eight hour plane ride to L.A. and she's got her head in his lap while he does his thang on his laptop and it keeps distracting him. She scares him and the two of them scare him and it scares him-

She just looks up at him and smiles.

"Relax Hardison. It's just a case."

He can't relax. There is an armed crazy man impersonating his girlfriend and the only way to beat him is to Out-Parker a Parker. Which wasn't really possible because it was more like a Parker-Elliot-DrunkNate and he's run the numbers in his head and on his computer and there was no way that this turned out well for anyone, let alone their clients who just wanted their damn grandmother's necklace back.

There was a reason he stuck to cyber crimes. No bloodshed.

"You don't need to worry about me, I'll be fine. Baby."

The term baby comes out more like an insult than a term of endearment. She's new to this, he forgets sometimes but he cannot be held responsible when it comes to her safety.

He's not in Los Angeles

Or Lisbon

Or Madrid

He keeps taunting them, and if there's something he couldn't stand was someone getting the drop on them three times. He's got his financials on lockdown by lunch and Sophie's exhausted and Parker is being spazzy and its one (possibly the only) time that he considers how hard Nate's job is. The guy has more aliases than he can count and whoever hides his money hides it well because all three aliases were making ATM withdrawals in different parts of the world and then spending money at different restaurants.

"Parker- where would you go?" He's so tired his vision is blurring shut and Parker's half-asleep on his lap because someone (Nate) chose to get one room instead of three. They lost the straws for the bed so while Nate and Sophie are snoring away, Eliot got the couch and the two of them stole the covers and were huddled in the bathtub.

"France. Definitely somewhere near the Louvre so I can find a nice rich person to follow home."

It's late, too late for him to think clearly, but Parker's lying on her stomach on top of him and whispering about how she would pick her target. Not by jewelry but by type of wallet (she was also a connoisseur of leathers among other things) and he really wished Nate's "No-Closed Doors" rule wasn't in effect because if he was gonna have a neck cramp tomorrow he could at least get lucky-

Hardison stands up abruptly, Parker mildly intrigued as she holds on to him while he stomps into the main bedroom, "Baby, you're a genius! Nate! We're going to Paris. Parker just OutParkered the NotParker."


	2. Honey

See Disclaimer in Part One.

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><p>The first time they actually go to sleep together is much, much later.<p>

She puts on face cream and lotion before doing yoga stretches. He'd been in bed, his tablet put away, waiting on her. And tired, he was so tired. Usually, guys would be super stoked to be bringing their woman back to their crib but he could barely see straight and she was taking forever.

In the time it takes him to get up and pee, she's got his whole bed torn apart, a nest in the middle for the two of them to sleep. Headboards were apparently overrated.

He crawls in beside her, exhausted and puts his head down to sleep.

"Aren't we supposed to like, talk about our day?" She inquires, propping her head up on her elbow. They spent ten hours inside a wind tunnel to get the car plans back for their client. The two of them ate at a cafe for lunch and then headed back to his place. To sleep. They had a team meeting in seven hours and he wasn't even interested in sex. Tired he was.

She threads her leg between his and whispers all of the expensive watches and jewels she'd seen that day: their cut, karat and quality. Then the home address of some of the better pieces. 'Once a Thief, Always a Thief' and when he thinks about where they all were before they started Robin Hooding, he cringes. He'd be in Nana's basement in front of a computer, alone. Nate would be drunk in a bar. Alone. Eliot would be putting people in the hopsital, alone. Sophie'd be scarin' people away from her stage performances and Parker would be rich swimming in money, but she'd be alone and that was the last thing he wanted for any of them.. to be alone.

Alec nods sleepily, unbuttoning the last two buttons of her ridiculous sleepshirt. It was circa 1960 and made for a very large man. The girl was naked every chance she got, but when they're having a sleepover she's suddenly shy. Resting one arm over her belly and the other under her head, he curled against her and went to sleep.

He awakes to the alarm, assuming Parker would be gone.

Smiling, he uncurls from around her body and hopes he didn't suffocate her in his sleep because girl was bein' real quiet it was kinda creepy.

"Parker!" Hardison pokes her in the ribs and she jerks awake.

"I'll make coffee, you do that security check thing."

Girl walks butt-nekkid into his kitchen to make coffee. Her sleepshirt is nowhere to be found and he's not sure but the ming vase he bought off eBay looked like it had been moved and his secret-secret safe was underneath it. Not sure if he should check the safe or trust Parker, he votes trust Parker and goes about getting ready for the day.

He does his daily routine: he checks all of their accounts for suspicious activity, checks their FBI aliases, checks the news and his email for anything he could pitch to Nate for future cons, checks up on Khaos, asshat of all asshats. Sophie has him check shoe inventories in France for a good chance to have her valet pick up some shoes and he makes sure Nana is okay before dragging himself out of bed.

Somehow Parker's produced one of his t-shirts and her jeans. She looks good, not just good but happy, and he likes to think that he was the culprit. She somehow knows exactly where he keeps his coffee mugs, one for him and one that he'd gotten her on a whim a few years back. It had a pink diamond on the front and was completely airtight.

"This is cute." She smirked, "Ready to go, honey?"

"Yeah. Yeah I am."

It was nice for once, to be a normal guy with his normal girl doing normal things.


End file.
